i left church
for the last time today
the sermons
always make my eyes bleed
i'd pray if i could hear the preacher say
"God is dead,
and so we will be one day"
i recall
God fondly
we named the streets
after useless things
it was nice, we bonded on late nights,
but i couldn't escape
the feeling that i was hated
i never did ask
so let's just call me--
when God spoke to me
there was talk of becoming better things
than the rules that our folks wrote
that turned them to sadness and hate
i'd become a chimney and say
"oh God, be real with me,
don't be naïve
page by page,
this life is misery"
they say i was God's best friend
chosen, beloved,
which i refuse to believe
because that means
that i could've done something
i bought new clothes
as if i'd never worn black before
that morning, i had a few drinks
and crashed my car
is this all you got?
can you hear me?
i guess not
i guess it's a lost cause
i'm a lost cause
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